Home Couch Change Podcast Nerves: 6-steps to dealing with people who work them

Nerves: 6-steps to dealing with people who work them

by Julia
Heidi- Flickr

Heidi- Flickr

How to deal when people get on your nerves

We all have that one person who at times, can really work our nerves. Usually, you can just ask the person to stop and if they don’t, you walk away. It gets significantly harder when you’re in a relationship with that person and for all intents and purposes, you can’t really leave. Here are a 6-tips to help you get through those very annoying moments.

 

1. Be non-confrontational

Try not to attack your partner in a frustrated rage. Calmly tell them that whatever they are doing really bugs you, and you would appreciate if they could actually try and tone it down or stop. Even them realizing what they are doing is bugging you, is a good step. If you snap on them, they will get upset and defensive. That is not going to help anyone.

 

2. Be Honest

Why does this bother you? You need to be able to explain why something is really bugging you. Some people do not understand that the thing they have been doing for years is bothering someone else. If you can explain why they may sympathize with you and be more aware of when they do that action.

 

3. Do NOT chastise in public

Yes, you’re irritated, yes you’re really going to snap but take a breath and save it. Bringing up how irritated you are in public will ruin your time even more than you think it is. Go ahead and quietly, nicely ask your partner to stop, but any farther and you’re treading into inappropriate waters. No need to let other people into your disagreements.

 

4. Irritation or Deal Breaker?

This thing keeps happening, this thing really bothers you. Is this just an irritant or is this really a deal breaker? Imagine having to deal with this forever and the behavior not changing, can you do it? If you think that will make you miserable it may be a deal breaker.

 

5. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Are you stressed? How about hungry or tired or anything else that may magnify a grumpy mood? Being in a bad mood already makes the smallest things the biggest deals. Make sure you’re in a calm state before you freak out on your partner. A little alone time may help before you approach them.

 

6. Finally, Make a plan!

How can you both fix this? Is there something you can do to meet in the middle? For example, does your partner always leave their dirty dishes around the house? Maybe talk about the first step being them taking them to the kitchen and placing them in the sink. Find somewhere to start and go from there.

 

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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