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Sexting: a new way to spice up your relationship

by Julia
written by Julia

 

sexting- twitter

sexting- twitter

Sexting: a new way to spice up your relationship

When you hear the word “sexting”, you probably think of horny teenagers and awkward situations. You think of all the comedies where sexting goes wrong, or you just get the sweats and hyperventilate. Let me guide you through the world of sexting for adults. It’s fun; it’s easy, and it may just light a fire under your partner’s butt.

Sexting is essentially sending sexually charged texts or messages to a person you are with. You can get in on this new millennial craze by sending anything from a few sentences back and forth to pictures. Let’s tackle the words first.

Warn somebody first!

If you have never sexted your partner, bring up a discussion about it before you start sending them pictures of your junk at work. If you think your partner would be okay with it but you are not sure, start slow. Send them a text saying how much you want them, see how they respond. If you can, maybe send them a dirty little number about what you want to do to them.

A little here a little there…

Once you have graduated from one line little teases, you both can move into telling stories about what you will do to each other back and forth. Essentially, write out the sexiest stories you both can come up with together. Tell your partner you like what they are saying and hopefully they will respond in kind.

Careful…

If you are feeling really daring, try sending them a picture. If you are not in a committed relationship with this person, I suggest that you make the picture as non-recognizable as possible. No face and no tattoos if you can help it. If you trust this person not to send things around, you can obviously be more revealing. Maybe a chest shot, or “try on” on some new clothes and take pictures in alluring poses. You don’t always have to be naked to send your partner over the moon and have them ready to come home to you.

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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Couch Change PodcastUncategorized

Nerves: 6-steps to dealing with people who work them

by Julia
written by Julia
Heidi- Flickr

Heidi- Flickr

How to deal when people get on your nerves

We all have that one person who at times, can really work our nerves. Usually, you can just ask the person to stop and if they don’t, you walk away. It gets significantly harder when you’re in a relationship with that person and for all intents and purposes, you can’t really leave. Here are a 6-tips to help you get through those very annoying moments.

 

1. Be non-confrontational

Try not to attack your partner in a frustrated rage. Calmly tell them that whatever they are doing really bugs you, and you would appreciate if they could actually try and tone it down or stop. Even them realizing what they are doing is bugging you, is a good step. If you snap on them, they will get upset and defensive. That is not going to help anyone.

 

2. Be Honest

Why does this bother you? You need to be able to explain why something is really bugging you. Some people do not understand that the thing they have been doing for years is bothering someone else. If you can explain why they may sympathize with you and be more aware of when they do that action.

 

3. Do NOT chastise in public

Yes, you’re irritated, yes you’re really going to snap but take a breath and save it. Bringing up how irritated you are in public will ruin your time even more than you think it is. Go ahead and quietly, nicely ask your partner to stop, but any farther and you’re treading into inappropriate waters. No need to let other people into your disagreements.

 

4. Irritation or Deal Breaker?

This thing keeps happening, this thing really bothers you. Is this just an irritant or is this really a deal breaker? Imagine having to deal with this forever and the behavior not changing, can you do it? If you think that will make you miserable it may be a deal breaker.

 

5. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Are you stressed? How about hungry or tired or anything else that may magnify a grumpy mood? Being in a bad mood already makes the smallest things the biggest deals. Make sure you’re in a calm state before you freak out on your partner. A little alone time may help before you approach them.

 

6. Finally, Make a plan!

How can you both fix this? Is there something you can do to meet in the middle? For example, does your partner always leave their dirty dishes around the house? Maybe talk about the first step being them taking them to the kitchen and placing them in the sink. Find somewhere to start and go from there.

 

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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Couch Change PodcastUncategorized

What I learned about love and the movies

by Julia
written by Julia
Love Joop Van Dijk- Flickr

Love Joop Van Dijk- Flickr

Is real love like the movies?

Movie love or romance was everywhere while growing up. Jack and Rose, Sam and Molly and a slew of others. Some of us became enamored with what we saw. We wanted that movie love. Well, growing up you realize that love is not like anything in the movies. Here are some ridiculous things movie love tried to teach me;

1. Doomed love is best

Doomed love is dangerous and unpredictable and so so sensual. All the telling “you can’t,” makes you want it even more! From Romeo and Juliet to Titanic, we see the excitement of doomed love. But that’s not how it works in the real world. If everyone wants you two apart, and the only thing holding you together is to prove you can, you may just want to give it up. Don’t take after Romeo and Juliet.

2. If you’re a single parent, using your kid will attract your soulmate

We have seen in a million times. The kid runs off in the movie and somehow runs into the hot single person of your dreams. The child and that person become best friends and then you work up the courage to tell them you love them too! Badabing Badaboom, you’re in the perfect relationship!

No. Children and relationships are picky. Your child should not be on the look out for its next mommy or daddy. Also, it’s probably best to make sure YOU know the person before you just let them hang out with you or your child.

3. Change yourself and you’ll get the guy!

We saw the perfect example of this in Grease. The entire movie they are fighting each other and being jerks and then at the end, she dresses like a “bad girl” and he falls head over heals for her. He attempted to change at first but once he saw her, bam he wanted her bad self.

If you feel the need to change who you are completely for someone, run, run far away from them. Slight changes here and there like picking up your towels and chewing with your mouth closed is understandable but trying to alter the core of who you are? No. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

4. That stalker? Yeah, they really love you!

Unrequited love is a thing of romance movie and horror movies. In romance films, one person desires the other; the second person doesn’t feel the same, yet. One hour later into the show, the first person has virtually stalked and followed the main character around and then all of a sudden the main character realizes they really do love the stalker! Yay!

Now in horror movies, it’s about the same except, the main character is rightfully freaked out because someone will not take no for an answer. They are being followed and creeped on. Now, the ending to this one is a little different, as usually either the stalker or main character gets killed or taken away.

Which one is closer to real life? The horror one! If you tell someone “no”, and they continue to push boundaries, follow you around and try to be with you, call the police. We don’t want you to end up dead.

5. Sex is the BEST with the one you love

Here is the kicker. The craziest most unrealistic one to me is that Sex will be mind-blowing, multiple orgasm inducing, hours of pleasure if you’re meant to be together. No! Just no! Sex is work; sex is awkward and funny and messy. Sometimes you hurt yourselves even. Sex is not just this crazy amazing experience just because you’re in love. It takes work and once you put in the work it’s going to be great. So many couples think that they must not be in love because their sex life isn’t mind numbing. Work on it people, communicate!

 

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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Couch Change PodcastUncategorized

Why space is OK, fresh perspective

by Julia
written by Julia
space-flickr

space-flickr

When you first enter a relationship, sometimes you hit this stage where you want to be around that person all the time. You would probably watch them pee if you could you just love them that much. You want to know every detail about their person, every story they have to tell. Eventually, that need starts to wear off. Eventually you need to breathe your own breath again, eventually you need space.

Right now you may be thinking “No Julia don’t say that! That’s a bad word”. We have all seen relationships end because someone “needed space” but that’s not what I’m talking about. Take a deep breath and press on. I’m talking about good old personal time and space. It’s healthy to take some “me” time and here’s how you can do it before you suffocate in your partners embrace or you suffocate your partner.

Identity Crisis

When some people get into relationships they tend to have a small identity crisis. They take on a new title and therefore mold their being around that title, “I am now X’s husband”, “I am Y’s girlfriend”. Though you may have a new title and be very happy and content with said title, don’t lose yourself in it. Co-dependence is not better than independence. You can still be your own person and like your own things! You can be alone. It’s going to be okay.

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Time to have a chat

Once you notice you or your partner may be feeling a little suffocated, maybe go to lunch, bake some cookies, brew some tea and have a chat. In a calm, friendly voice explain to your partner that you have noticed a sense of overwhelming togetherness and you need a bit of alone time. Reassure your partner that this is not a breakup, that you are indeed happy with them if you are indeed happy, and that you both would benefit from doing things you enjoy separately and that it’s actually healthy and okay!

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What can I do?

Now that you both have talked things over and understand that this is not a negative decision but a positive one, it’s time to decide what to actually do. Here are a few ideas;

  • Pick up a new book and dedicate a set amount of time to reading alone
  • Pick a series on TV or Netflix and watch one episode by yourself
  • Go out to lunch or dinner alone
  • Take a hot bath and relax, maybe add some bubbles
  • Go have a beer with your friends
  • Play some video games
  • Go for a walk or run
  • Volunteer once a week for your community
  • Write a really good article for Couch Rider Report

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Happily Ever After

Once you start taking time for yourselves you may actually notice that you and your partner grow a bit closer. Taking time apart may make you appreciate the time that you spend together even more. You will have exciting new stories to tell and interesting movie plots to relay. You can finally breathe on your own.

 

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I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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Wedding rings-Flickr
Couch Change PodcastUncategorized

Ring or no Ring…?

by Julia
written by Julia
Wedding rings-Flickr

Wedding rings-Flickr

The History

Originally wedding rings were supposed to be simple bands usually made of metal, but they could be made of anything. Ancient Egyptians made theirs out of reeds or hemp. Some rings now are made of wood, and there are so many different metals to choose from as well. No matter what these are made of, the bands are meant to show that the wearer is married and unavailable to others. Traditionally the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand or the right hand, but it has become more common to just be on the left. According to legend, the wedding ring was placed on this finger because a vein referred to as the “Vena Amorus” leads from that finger all the way to the heart. The ring is also said to represent eternity and shows the everlasting love between the couple.

The “Issue”

The issue that has been brought to my attention is that people don’t wear their wedding rings, but is this really a problem? If you google “do people wear their wedding rings?” a myriad of articles will pop up of how untrustworthy it is for your partner to not wear their ring. The thoughts go from,

“He is ashamed of me”

to

“She must be looking for someone else”.

Stop, stop right there. Why are you not talking to your partner about wearing their ring? Why are you not trusting what your partner says?

Going Ring-less

Going ring-less is a choice and the reasons can be well, quite reasonable!

  • It’s uncomfortable
  • Work related issues
  • Don’t like jewelry
  • They just do not want to wear it

In all honesty, I don’t see anything wrong with any of these reasons. What makes them inherently bad? I’ll answer that in one phrase, lack of trust. If you are freaking out that you’re partner is not wearing their ring, you may view them as untrustworthy. You really need to get down to the bottom line of why you’re really bothered by this. I’m going to tell you now, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to do it. Regardless of if they are wearing their ring or not, they will do it! You could get that sucker tattooed on their finger, and they will still go out if that’s how they are.

The Bottom Line

Talk about it, discuss why this is bothering you. Additionally, discuss what or who is getting into your head that is making you think this way. Listen to your partner and trust what they say. If they say they just don’t like rings, they are not out there trying to get someone new, they really just don’t like rings. Lastly, if you have a trust issue with them, deal with that. I can almost guarantee the ring is not the first time you have doubted them. Don’t go around blaming other things, deal with the root and the plant won’t grow!

 

I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

 

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NO-Sboneham-Flickr
Couch Change PodcastUncategorized

The Power of NO

by Julia
written by Julia

Recently, I was asked:

“What do you do when you don’t want to practice a kink your partner wants you to?”

This got me thinking, what do you do? The answer is more simple than you think.

YOU CAN SAY NO!

NO-Sboneham-Flickr

NO-Sboneham-Flickr

 

That is it, that is acceptable and that is all you need. There is this weird trend going around that you owe people reasons for your answers, when in reality you don’t, ever. Your “NO” should be respected.

If your partner presses you for more, you can respectfully explain that “NO” is a sacred word. You do not have to explain why you do not want to do something with your body that you do not want to do. That “NO” should be respected, and they have the right to say NO without an excuse as well.

Explanations…helpful, but NOT Mandatory

If you feel that that is rude, of course explain your “NO”. Explain the reasons why you do not want to do something. These can include so many things and should be talked about reasonably. Some reasons may include;

  • Aversion to pain
  • Fear
  • Dislike
  • Other people finding out
  • Against ones morals
  • Against ones religion

Whatever your reason, explain this to your partner, if you want to. Do not explain because you are bullied or badgered but solely on the fact that you want your partner to understand.

Once you have said NO and explained the why, if you choose, your partner should accept it. If they do not, it may show a sign that they lack respect for you. Badgering and bullying you into doing something is not acceptable. You should plainly point out if and when your partner is quilting you, badgering you or bullying you. You can explain how this is disrespectful towards you, and that they probably would not like it if you did this to them. Now, you need to get to the root of the issue. Is this something your partner needs or just a passing fancy they want to try?

Phase or Deal-breaker?

If the thing they want to try sexually is a need, you then have three options. Option one is to do this thing. If you can justify doing this thing, great. The second option is to try and find a replacement for the said thing. If they like pain, but you do not want to hurt them, try using nipple clamps, you don’t have to use them and they still feel the pain. Lastly, if it is a hard NO, figure out if this is a relationship breaker or not. A satisfying sex life is very important to some people, so their kinks need to be done. If you can not or will not do it for your partner and they are unhappy, you need to have the discussion of seeing other people, instead of being stressed.

Now, if this is just a passing fancy, you can talk about what brought it on. You can explain why this is not attractive to you and how it makes you feel. Recognize that they want it, but it is too much for you. After that you can see if you can agree on something new to try, compromise is a very good thing and spicing up your sex life with mutually agreed upon acts is great! In the end, sometimes you can’t make a compromise or find something that you both agree to try and that is okay, as long as you and your partner respect each others “NO”.

 

 

I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

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