So your fees have been paid, you’ve set your fantasy football roster for Sunday. Wait! You did right? Stop reading go set it and come back. Wheww, close one. Now that the hard stuff is out the way lets get some info on the picks. I was 5 out of 16 right last week. Who knew? I give you the real stats because I want you to come back when I get it right. So here are the Couch Predictions for Week 3
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Baltimore Ravens
This a very crucial game for the bottom of the AFC North Ravens. Dean Pees had better find a way to put a cap on Big Red Andy Dalton and this pass happy Offense or he may lose more than this game. He will lose his job. Harbaugh has been in a pretty crappy mood since the preseason and he might have some “Jerry Jones” in his blood and may want to fire someone. Cinci is on cloud 9 coming into this game. They are firing on all cylinders but I believe Baltimore has never started a year 0-3 and it will not start Sunday. Biased pick YEP! So what! Flacco is 13-1 at home. We got this! Go Ravens!
Couch Pick: Ravens
San Diego Chargers vs Minnesota Vikings
San Diego has the better QB but AP IS BACK! Minnesota’s D is great at causing turnovers and Phillip is known for giving up the cookies. As long as Teddy Bridgewater doesn’t go out of character, just manages the game and hands the ball to 28 then all signs point to cake and ice cream in the locker room.
Couch Pick: Vikings
Oakland Raiders vs. Cleveland Browns
DEREK CARR IS FOR REAL! This man has targets in Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree. I told everyone once Al Davis was gone (may he rest in piece) Oakland would become a competitor. Cleveland is starting the wrong QB especially after Johnny Manziel came saw and conquered in his first career win this last weekend against the Titans. Cleveland is in for one heck of a ride and while I believe their D will show up, I just don’t see the Offense to compliment.
Couch Pick: Raiders 
Atlanta Falcons vs. Dallas Cowboys
2-0 is a great way to start a season but losing the top playmakers in the midst of it all is not a great way to start a season (thank you captain obvious). There is no one on the roster who can stop Julio Jones from doing what he wants and apparently Matty Ice (Matt Ryan) does not care to go any other route. I about to do the “Julio” because this is where the buck stops for the Cowboys, as they walk away 2-1 after this one.
Couch Pick: Falcons
Tampa Bay vs. Houston Texans
Short story here. Tampa Bay sucks. Houston sucks less. End of story.
Couch Pick: Texans
Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Jets
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Eric Decker and Brandon Marshall are a great trio. Combine that with the ever-ready Chris Ivory and were looking at one of the most feared offensive units in the league. This Todd Bowles D is about as nasty as it comes. Philly got more issues than Britney Spears had a few years back. Jets are on a roll and they will keep it going after they bust Chip Kelly and company in the mouth.
Couch Pick: J-e-t-s Jets-Jets-Jets!
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. St Louis Rams
I love the Rams D. I absolutely drool over the D-line and get all reflective on previous Baltimore Ravens’ defenses that used to ball like this. However with that said, Pittsburgh is getting LeVeon Bell back Martavis Bryant. It will be an excellent game but Big Ben is playing like a boss right now and I just don’t see them losing.
Couch Pick: Steelers
New Orleans Saints vs. Carolina Panthers
They should have kept Jimmy Graham. Now Breezy is in all kinds of trouble that is if he starts. The President of Boogie Town USA aka Cam Newton combined with the best defense in the NFL in my humble opinion will smash the black and gold.
Couch Pick: Panthers
Indianapolis Colts vs. Tennessee Titans
Everyone is clowning Andrew Luck. Luck is a competitor, he just started against two of the better NFL defenses and it just didn’t pan out. Tennessee just let Johnny Football BALL ON THEM! Indy is a competitive resilient team, which will turn this around and win the division. Marcus Mariota is simply a speed bump in Luck’s way.
Couch Pick: Colts
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New England Patriots
Brady is pissed at the whole league. Watch out! Between this line giving Brady more than enough time to throw, Rob Gronkowski dominating at a whole new level and “mini-tron” Julian Edelman being masterfully used to work the team down the field, there is NO way I see a Jags win
Couch pick: Pats
San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals
I really really like Carlos Hyde, AZ has a guy there by the name of Larry Fitzgerald that has shown he can still play at a high level. I am not sure an inconsistent Torrey Smith and a Defense that was recently worked over is ready for solid team like the cards
Couch pick: Cardinals
Chicago Bears vs. Seattle Seahawks
This is cut and dry. No Cutler, no W. Plus the “boom” in the L.O.B.
Couch Pick: Seahawks
Buffalo Bills vs. Miami Dolphins
Rex Ryan is pissed about last week’s loss to the Pats and is about to take it out on the Dolphins. Ryan Tannehil will be in a bit of trouble with this nasty D. Additionally Tyrod Taylor will be back doing what he does best.
Couch Pick: Bills
Denver Broncos vs. Detroit Lions
Peyton Manning is out to show the world he still has it and even if he doesn’t have the arm, the brain is still there. That Von Miller led defense is going to clobber the Lions. It doesn’t not matter if they have Megatron or not
Couch Pick: Broncos
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Green Bay Packers
Aaron Rodgers loves the big stage more than most. KC is still trying to define themselves. Don’t count the Chiefs completely out but Pack will ball come Monday
Couch Pick: Packers
Agree or disagree? Sound off! We’d love to hear your perspective now that you have heard ours. Respond on the Facebook or twitter feed or share if you like our picks.
Jermaine Lockett is a Writer and CEO for Couch Rider Report. Follow us on Facebook or twitter.
