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Julia Parsons

Couch Change Podcast Uncategorized

What I learned about love and the movies

by Julia July 3, 2016

written by Julia

Love Joop Van Dijk- Flickr

Is real love like the movies?

Movie love or romance was everywhere while growing up. Jack and Rose, Sam and Molly and a slew of others. Some of us became enamored with what we saw. We wanted that movie love. Well, growing up you realize that love is not like anything in the movies. Here are some ridiculous things movie love tried to teach me;

1. Doomed love is best

Doomed love is dangerous and unpredictable and so so sensual. All the telling “you can’t,” makes you want it even more! From Romeo and Juliet to Titanic, we see the excitement of doomed love. But that’s not how it works in the real world. If everyone wants you two apart, and the only thing holding you together is to prove you can, you may just want to give it up. Don’t take after Romeo and Juliet.

2. If you’re a single parent, using your kid will attract your soulmate

We have seen in a million times. The kid runs off in the movie and somehow runs into the hot single person of your dreams. The child and that person become best friends and then you work up the courage to tell them you love them too! Badabing Badaboom, you’re in the perfect relationship!

No. Children and relationships are picky. Your child should not be on the look out for its next mommy or daddy. Also, it’s probably best to make sure YOU know the person before you just let them hang out with you or your child.

3. Change yourself and you’ll get the guy!

We saw the perfect example of this in Grease. The entire movie they are fighting each other and being jerks and then at the end, she dresses like a “bad girl” and he falls head over heals for her. He attempted to change at first but once he saw her, bam he wanted her bad self.

If you feel the need to change who you are completely for someone, run, run far away from them. Slight changes here and there like picking up your towels and chewing with your mouth closed is understandable but trying to alter the core of who you are? No. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

4. That stalker? Yeah, they really love you!

Unrequited love is a thing of romance movie and horror movies. In romance films, one person desires the other; the second person doesn’t feel the same, yet. One hour later into the show, the first person has virtually stalked and followed the main character around and then all of a sudden the main character realizes they really do love the stalker! Yay!

Now in horror movies, it’s about the same except, the main character is rightfully freaked out because someone will not take no for an answer. They are being followed and creeped on. Now, the ending to this one is a little different, as usually either the stalker or main character gets killed or taken away.

Which one is closer to real life? The horror one! If you tell someone “no”, and they continue to push boundaries, follow you around and try to be with you, call the police. We don’t want you to end up dead.

5. Sex is the BEST with the one you love

Here is the kicker. The craziest most unrealistic one to me is that Sex will be mind-blowing, multiple orgasm inducing, hours of pleasure if you’re meant to be together. No! Just no! Sex is work; sex is awkward and funny and messy. Sometimes you hurt yourselves even. Sex is not just this crazy amazing experience just because you’re in love. It takes work and once you put in the work it’s going to be great. So many couples think that they must not be in love because their sex life isn’t mind numbing. Work on it people, communicate!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

July 3, 2016 0 comment

Couch Change Podcast Uncategorized

Ring or no Ring…?

by Julia June 9, 2016

written by Julia

Wedding rings-Flickr

The History

Originally wedding rings were supposed to be simple bands usually made of metal, but they could be made of anything. Ancient Egyptians made theirs out of reeds or hemp. Some rings now are made of wood, and there are so many different metals to choose from as well. No matter what these are made of, the bands are meant to show that the wearer is married and unavailable to others. Traditionally the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand or the right hand, but it has become more common to just be on the left. According to legend, the wedding ring was placed on this finger because a vein referred to as the “Vena Amorus” leads from that finger all the way to the heart. The ring is also said to represent eternity and shows the everlasting love between the couple.

The “Issue”

The issue that has been brought to my attention is that people don’t wear their wedding rings, but is this really a problem? If you google “do people wear their wedding rings?” a myriad of articles will pop up of how untrustworthy it is for your partner to not wear their ring. The thoughts go from,

“He is ashamed of me”

to

“She must be looking for someone else”.

Stop, stop right there. Why are you not talking to your partner about wearing their ring? Why are you not trusting what your partner says?

Going Ring-less

Going ring-less is a choice and the reasons can be well, quite reasonable!

It’s uncomfortable
Work related issues
Don’t like jewelry
They just do not want to wear it

In all honesty, I don’t see anything wrong with any of these reasons. What makes them inherently bad? I’ll answer that in one phrase, lack of trust. If you are freaking out that you’re partner is not wearing their ring, you may view them as untrustworthy. You really need to get down to the bottom line of why you’re really bothered by this. I’m going to tell you now, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to do it. Regardless of if they are wearing their ring or not, they will do it! You could get that sucker tattooed on their finger, and they will still go out if that’s how they are.

The Bottom Line

Talk about it, discuss why this is bothering you. Additionally, discuss what or who is getting into your head that is making you think this way. Listen to your partner and trust what they say. If they say they just don’t like rings, they are not out there trying to get someone new, they really just don’t like rings. Lastly, if you have a trust issue with them, deal with that. I can almost guarantee the ring is not the first time you have doubted them. Don’t go around blaming other things, deal with the root and the plant won’t grow!

I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

June 9, 2016 0 comment

Couch Change Podcast Uncategorized

The Power of NO

by Julia June 4, 2016

written by Julia

Recently, I was asked:

“What do you do when you don’t want to practice a kink your partner wants you to?”

This got me thinking, what do you do? The answer is more simple than you think.

YOU CAN SAY NO!

NO-Sboneham-Flickr

That is it, that is acceptable and that is all you need. There is this weird trend going around that you owe people reasons for your answers, when in reality you don’t, ever. Your “NO” should be respected.

If your partner presses you for more, you can respectfully explain that “NO” is a sacred word. You do not have to explain why you do not want to do something with your body that you do not want to do. That “NO” should be respected, and they have the right to say NO without an excuse as well.

Explanations…helpful, but NOT Mandatory

If you feel that that is rude, of course explain your “NO”. Explain the reasons why you do not want to do something. These can include so many things and should be talked about reasonably. Some reasons may include;

Aversion to pain
Fear
Dislike
Other people finding out
Against ones morals
Against ones religion

Whatever your reason, explain this to your partner, if you want to. Do not explain because you are bullied or badgered but solely on the fact that you want your partner to understand.

Once you have said NO and explained the why, if you choose, your partner should accept it. If they do not, it may show a sign that they lack respect for you. Badgering and bullying you into doing something is not acceptable. You should plainly point out if and when your partner is quilting you, badgering you or bullying you. You can explain how this is disrespectful towards you, and that they probably would not like it if you did this to them. Now, you need to get to the root of the issue. Is this something your partner needs or just a passing fancy they want to try?

Phase or Deal-breaker?

If the thing they want to try sexually is a need, you then have three options. Option one is to do this thing. If you can justify doing this thing, great. The second option is to try and find a replacement for the said thing. If they like pain, but you do not want to hurt them, try using nipple clamps, you don’t have to use them and they still feel the pain. Lastly, if it is a hard NO, figure out if this is a relationship breaker or not. A satisfying sex life is very important to some people, so their kinks need to be done. If you can not or will not do it for your partner and they are unhappy, you need to have the discussion of seeing other people, instead of being stressed.

Now, if this is just a passing fancy, you can talk about what brought it on. You can explain why this is not attractive to you and how it makes you feel. Recognize that they want it, but it is too much for you. After that you can see if you can agree on something new to try, compromise is a very good thing and spicing up your sex life with mutually agreed upon acts is great! In the end, sometimes you can’t make a compromise or find something that you both agree to try and that is okay, as long as you and your partner respect each others “NO”.

I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

June 4, 2016 0 comment

Couch Change Podcast Uncategorized

Intro to choking in the bedroom

by Julia May 16, 2016

written by Julia

Choking Rocky Sun-Flickr

Choking is something that a lot of people seem to be into or want to try out now, especially since all of the 50 Shades of Grey nonsense. For the purpose of this blog, we will be calling choking by its fetish name, “erotic asphyxiation”.

Erotic Asphyxiation is controlling yours or another person’s intake of oxygen during a sexual encounter. Plain and simple, it is restricting oxygen to the brain for sexual excitement/pleasure. This includes choking by hand, rope, or scarf. Controlling breathing by tape, toys, plastic bags etc.

Is this safe?

Ask anyone who actively practices this and they will tell you “no, it is not safe, but it can be!” There is always some risk involved in choking yourself or someone else. This risk includes death. Many people die from erotic asphyxiation each year, upwards towards 1,000 people according to Martin Downs from medicinenet.com. So please, before jumping into this, discuss it with your partner and do some research.

Should I play this way?

I think it is exciting for any couple to try something new so in that regard, yes I think you may as well discuss it and try it if that is something you think you would enjoy!

How do I start?

If you have never done this and are worried, start with research, Google is your friend. After you have done your research, make sure to talk to your partner about it. They may even really want to try it to!

After that, you can start to incorporate it into the bedroom. Maybe placing your hand on your partner’s throat, while you are passionately kissing and then applying a little pressure. When you start to apply pressure, make sure that you pay attention to your partners reaction. This would be a good time to utilize that safe word or action. Two quick taps means you need to stop and so does yelling red.

After you have figured out if your partner likes it, you can start to advance to toys, scarves and tape. Always go slow and know the risks.

Tips

Don’t put pressure on the Adam’s apple area only, your throat is sensitive and you could damage the larynx
Go slow, you don’t want to pass out. Figure out that perfect pressure
Ball gags and scarves restrict airflow, make sure that the person can remove them quickly if need be
Vomiting can happen, make sure your partner doesn’t choke
Don’t deprive the brain of oxygen for too long. choke and then release for the stimulation
Have a pair of EMT scissors close by to remove tape or bags quickly.
Do not hang yourself from closet rods, ceilings or anything you cannot escape from.
TEST objects for allergic reactions beforehand

Tricks

Hanging your head off the bed while laying on your back will give you a lightheaded feeling similar to choking
Placing the hand higher under the chin will cut off air without too much pressure
Try whispering in your partner’s ear while having your hand on their throat. You are then stimulating two erogenous zones
Hold your partner by the hair while choking them, it gives a greater control factor
Ask your partner to hold your hand while you choke them, then they can pull if they need release or press down for more pressure
Have them talk dirty to you while you choke them, telling you they like it etc.
Use your tie or scarf for added sex appeal and spontaneity

I would love to hear some topics that you guys would want to read about, feel free to leave me a comment or email the page!

Julia Parsons is an Analyst for Couch Rider Report. Follow her on Facebook and Follow/Like us on Facebook or twitter.

May 16, 2016 0 comment